My experience with loss
Since last year, the theme of loss has been re-occurring in my mind, for it was ever-present. Till now i still think about it but differently.
‘Loss’ has been tough to understand, and i think i still don’t understand. But initially loss or the thought of losing someone or something dear to me, caused me excruciating pain. It made me act differently whenever i was triggered, believing that I could or did experience loss. Loss has driven me towards an unknown territory where i could barely recognize myself, where I was losing myself.
I have lost… friends, lovers (real or not), family, money, faith, power and material possessions. See the multitude of areas that i experienced loss, they all intertwined into a really big lump on my heart last year. Now recounting all of them in detail would surely require few pages that I do not think is necessary to dive in. What matters is NOW and how I am actively working with with this big guy, LOSS.
The turning point in my life has been losing the love of my life after already experiencing loss with money, family death and pain. Now it might sound cliche, but it broke my heart so deep and it felt like they died because losing someone I love was one of my biggest fear and it just came a reality. Now how the hell was that a turning point? Because it became so heavy on my heart and I was miserable? Well, yeah but not really. It was a turning point because I have gain some insights from it :
- You can do anything you want to not lose someone or something, yet you cannot prevent the loss of them.
- Create healthy attachment. Let go of what you cannot control.
- Loss will hurt and you have to feel it but let go also.
- Journal, talk to yourself, rationalize your thoughts and see if your blocking yourself with conditioned ways of thinking.
- Be here and now. Be present. (I recommend reading: ‘The power of now’ by Ekhart Tolle)
- Get comfortable with the unknown but still hold faith that all is well.
- People are like ‘Butterfly’, you can’t hold on too tight, you have to let them fly and grow.(Thanks, Mariah)
- Money comes and goes. Risks and Luck are twins, who will you meet? (Check out ‘The psychology of money’).
- The root of it all is fear. Fear blinds you from abundance,success and peace. Fear gives you tunnel vision and it is not easy but one step at a time does bring change.
These are a few points that helped me waver through feelings of loss. Now, I am not a robot, cause Istill get frustrated, sad, angry and all the emotions that comes with loss. But it is what i do after that, how to still carry on.
P.s These points are my personal view, and may or may not help with the loss of someone or something, because I know it is different for everyone. But if these points can help anyone who might just need it, I hope it finds you.
Sincerely,
May.